Performance Management Company Blog

Ideas on People and Performance, Team Building, Motivation and Innovation

Category: Metaphors for business improvement (Page 2 of 5)

Poem on Team Innovation and Motivation

Most of the time, I blog up my poems (and posters and quips) on my other blog, www.poemsontheworkplace.com. But, I thought to pop two up about motivation in here, since they impact on a lot of organizational realities of people and performance and to demonstrate my poetic genius. (grin)

My hat is off to the cat in the hat guy, who serves as a positive inspiration to a lot of us who don’t get iambic pentathlon and that other allegorical alliteration allusion stuff. Just keeping it simple and fun here, folks…

So here goes:

Square wheels image in LEGO by Scott Simmermanand, one of my favorites about the perceptions surrounding management and leadership:

square wheels poem by Scott Simmerman

If you are looking for some really easy to use tools to improve your communications, check out this $20 toolkit using the Square Wheels One image:

Square Wheels image Icebreaker icon

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s quips and quotes on Poems on The Workplace is here.

Square Wheels® is a registered trademark of Performance Management Co.
LEGO® is a trademark of The LEGO Group

 

Square Wheels Business Toys – an idea

As many readers know, we have been slowly moving the line-art Square Wheels images into the LEGO representations. The latter are more colorful and three-dimensional but not really hands-on, since they are only pictures…

Square_Wheels_Images_by_Scott_Simmerman

But I have still not really added the kinesthetic learning element to this package of tools nor is there anything for desktops. So, when I saw that Quirky was doing a toy-development focus with Mattel to develop some new toy ideas and that LEGO is now the number one toymaker in the world, AND the reality that LEGO does not actually make Square Wheels nor any toys around my theme (and my intellectual property and copyrights and trademarks!), it seemed to make sense that I pop up a business toy idea around the themes. Right?

So, I pushed out some wordiology around the basic idea that we could develop some plastic toys that we could use in training and development around creativity and innovation, things that could be that hands-on kinesthetic learning link for workplace improvement ideas and team building.

If you think that this basic idea makes sense, check out what I popped up into Quirty:   https://www.quirky.com/invent/1648222/action/vote/query/view=trending

It’s just an idea, but it sure seems like it would be a fun thing to have when working to improve workplace communications and engagement, right? And your vote for the idea would be appreciated, for sure.

One result of all this is that you could have some cute reminder “statue” of your own design right on your desk, one that reflected the business improvement and corporate team building ideas and that could be used as a hands-on toy to improve organizational performance. Simple and direct, visual and kinesthetic.

PMC sells some simple to use and inexpensive toolkits for improving communications, and this would simply be another basic part of a memorable toolkit for employee involvement,

Square Wheels Icebreaker is simple to use

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s quips and quotes on Poems on The Workplace is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of The LEGO Group

 

Poems and Haiku on People and Performance – Square Wheels themes

I was trying out some new image capture software and got into taking some screenshots of some powerpoint slides that I then thought to change and then to redo some poems and haiku about people and performance. I got a goodly number of these done, which I will share on my poems about the workplace blog. You can go there by clicking on the poem image below:

a Square Wheels poem by Scott Simmerman

The poems blog is full of posters, quotes, one-liners and some other quick stuff that I have tried to capture over the past 2 years. It is my place for having a bit of fun. Here is a haiku poem that I will upload there tomorrow:

A square wheels haiku poem by Scott Simmerman

and here is one more poem:

A square wheels poem on workplace reality by Scott Simmerman

Hope you like these. I have a good time playing with these kinds of things, and if you want me to illustrate any writings of yours with my Square Wheels LEGO images, let me know,

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s quips and quotes on Poems on The Workplace is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of The LEGO Group

 

lyrics:

Teamwork’s the way to get more good things done,
Those difficult changes that ain’t any fun.
It’s hard work to mesh with those not like you,
But stopping and talking is always the glue.

Passion for change? Yes?
Get the job done fast and cheap.
Labor is intense.

The Boss may just be unaware.
Of the Square Wheels always thumpy.
The wagon can roll with much less care,
If communications not so lumpy.

 

Beautiful Math – Euler's Law and Square Wheels

This post is a little off the beaten path for the blog but I thought that this article was really pretty interesting and easy to understand. I like it because of how cleanly and simply it explains some really complicated but elegant math.

Like my Square Wheels theme, I really like things that are simple and elegant and this little equation:

e + 1 = 0
(
e to the i times pi plus 1 = zero)

is pretty amazing, as well as very common in the world as we know it!

It is an equation about numbers, constants “pi” and “e” — you can remember the latter from Einstein’s famous equation. Both are transcendental in that they are infinite quantities when expressed in decimal form. You will know pi from the simple math about circles, though. “e” is about compound interest, Moore’s Law and everything that moves about and accelerates.

Leonard Euler figured this out in 1748. Basically, pi and e are connected in a dimension perpendicular to the world, a place that is measured in units of i (the square root of -1, an imaginary number which actually does not exist. But its expression in visual forms is amazing:

The_Baffling_and_Beautiful_Wormhole_Between_Branches_of_Math___WIRED

Check out this article by Lee Simmons for a more detailed explanation and some more graphic representations of how this simple equation explains so much about the world of math and physics and our understanding of how things really work. Beautiful stuff, for sure, like my Square Wheels representations of how things really work:

Square Wheels represent how organizations really work - by Scott Simmerman

In Square Wheels, things will just roll on and on and on and on unless someone takes the time to stop the wagon and look for opportunities for improvement and change the math. The round wheels already exist…

Euler’s Law and Square Wheels roll on,

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s quips and quotes on Poems on The Workplace is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of The LEGO Group

 

Note:

Pi goes on to infinity. A few digits are here and you can find it out to one million numbers at this website. Infinity is SO large that, when letters are expressed as digital numbers (a = 1, b = 2, etc.), you can find the entire contents of War and Peace expressed digitally in sequence within its string of numbers. In fact, infinity is SO large that you can find the contents of War and Peace along with all of my blog posts in sequence. It is an unimaginably large number…

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609...

 

 

 

Susan Saves Santa Saving Christmas – a LEGO Square Wheels Story

I just posted up a blog about creativity in my poems blog, illustrated with some random LEGO pieces. And doing that prompted me to put together a slideshare program building around teamwork, collaboration, continuous improvement and the theme of motivating change and using my LEGO representations of the Square Wheels.

Here is a 15-slide illustrated storyboard:

Santa LEGO Square Wheels storyboard

click on the image to go to slideshare.net

I am trying to be cute, but to also tell a pretty serious story about the choices we make and what we can do differently to improve engagement and motivation in the workplace.

The Round Wheels are already in the wagon (as well as the sled!).

Hope you like it.

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s quips and quotes on Poems on The Workplace is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of The LEGO Group

<a rel=”author” href=”https://plus.google.com/u/0/114758253812293832123″ a>

Good Teambuilding? Bad Teambuilding? Leadership?

We’re running with a twitter thread around the link of #baaadteambuilding, with a goal of identifying and playing with some really bad team building frameworks like “herding sheep like dogs” (seriously) or “horse whispering” — there are all kinds of examples, even from my own blog (here).

I was looking at one of my Santa illustrations and thinking about what it might reflect to people and it spun my thinking into a Good News / Bad News kind of framework:

Santa Square Wheels LEGO illustration by Scott Simmerman

We have Santa and the reindeer ready to go. We have a cargo loaded, representing round wheels for the rest of the world. There must be some sense of accomplishment. We have Mrs. Claus with a plate of cookies! We have what appear to be happy elves.

But, we have a sled on Square Wheels (well, they do work on snow) and we have the Big Boss pushing people to get moving, maybe not recognizing any incremental successes. We have apparently unengaged wagon pushers and the leader is actually blocking progress. The reindeer may be indifferent to this whole adventure since they have not yet contributed anything.

  • From a team building perspective, how did we do?
  • Do they feel that this is a success, or that there are lots of unfinished things to do?

And like in most debriefings of activities and actions, I am guessing that there are a mix of issues and ideas, good accomplishments and challenges remaining. Will the team be motivated to succeed?

In the next few days, we will be adding a whole series of Santa-based illustrations similar to the above along with a few storylines about business process improvement and how to engage and motivate people. Subscribe to the blog if you would like to keep informed of our progress toward Christmas…

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s quips and quotes on Poems on The Workplace is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of The LEGO Group

<a rel=”author” href=”https://plus.google.com/u/0/114758253812293832123″ a>

The Future of Work, The Future of The Workplace

It’s dangerous for me to sit and read, sometimes, since my mind goes off into different dimensions. I was reading a couple of articles in Smithsonian and Mother Jones and it had me thinking about The Workplace and The Future and the reality that if we continue to do things the same way, we are going to find ourselves living in, as the ancient Chinese saying, “interesting times.”

I see a real paradox in business’ push for innovation and creativity meshed with how so many treat customers and employees. The ones that do treat the latter well tend to be demonstrably more innovative and profitable over the long term. All that data is very clear. Productivity is much higher: “Employees aren’t being asked to create a product, they are being asked to do the work previously done by four people in half the time it took just 10 years ago.” (Cliff Stevenson)

And a new client has just completed a company-wide survey showing all the many kinds of task-interferences getting directly in the way of actually demonstrating leadership skills among her managers. (She promised me the data, so more to come on that, for sure). We are demanding a LOT of people in the workplace, so much so that it is hard for them to do any workplace innovation or for managers and supervisors to do much to build collaboration and teamwork to make improvements in inter-departmental kinds of things.

SO, there I was with my mind spinning. And the thought was to try to illustrate a series of posters about the future of work and the future of the workplace…

Here is the first of them:

Square Wheels LEGO images are the works of Dr Scott Simmerman

The funny thing is that this really seems true, with lots of data to back it up. Companies and workgroups continue to do the same things, over and over, and expect improvements to occur. A few companies are doing things so differently and better than their competitors that they have significant, sustainable differences in operational data and in things like creativity and innovation.

After initially posting this up, I am back an hour later adding another to this series. This is also characteristic of a lot of workplaces:

A Square Wheels LEGO image of how things work - by Scott Simmerman

While some just plod along like they always have, thump thump thump thump.

AND LOOK AT ALL THE PROGRESS WE HAVE MADE!

But the reality is that the Round Wheels already exist and we can choose to do some things differently to make improvements. You can CHOOSE to do things more better faster. Innovative Ideas are at hand, if only you might step back from the wagon!

You might also find this slideshare to be of interest. It was suggested that I link to it. The focus is on making the office environment more worker-friendly and supporting through the use of lighting, furniture and design. Click on this textlink.

Check out our Square Wheels Icebreaker Toolkit – $20!=Square Wheels Icebreaker icon

(And pop back in here to see more in this series of thoughts. I will put them up individually in the poems blog and try to add more into this post.)

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s quips and quotes on Poems on The Workplace is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of The LEGO Group

 

Is Work Funny or What? Paradoxes in Perceptions

I am a serious guy when it comes to people and performance, which is why I lean toward using games and cartoons. They are simply More Effective than, well, being SERIOUS!

So, let me take a serious poke at people and performance by using a cartoon and you tell me whether I nail it for you, or not.

Let’s say that work looks like this:

SWs LEGO Puzzled Boss horse puller

How? Why? Where? What?

Some thoughts (and I know that you can come up with more of them):

  • We have a wagon rolling on Square Wheels. These wheels work but they do not work smoothly.
  • We have people pushing the wagon forward but they probably cannot see where there are going nor what they are really doing.
  • We got a wagon puller, just out of training, using a white horse. All supervisors have white hats and ride white horses, right?
  • We have Round Wheels in the wagon. It is not like a better idea does not already exist, it is just that the wagon puller may not be aware of it or have a clue as to how to implement it.
  • We have no idea about communications at the back, between the back and the front, or any other things that might be happening.
  • We have a puzzled guy just standing there and not apparently doing anything. He could represent senior management. He might be a consultant. He could be from Accounting or Human Resources!

Most of those involved are sincerely interested in getting their jobs done. But it is commonly found that they do not feel like they are part of a high performance team.

WHY are we doing this and why are we doing this this way? Because maybe:

  • this approach to doing things represents the way things have always been done around here.
  • this way represents the reason the guy on the horse is ON the horse, that a good idea of moving from triangular to square was rewarded!
  • this represents a huge improvement over how we used to do things — dragging the wagon was, well, a real drag!

HOW will we make improvements? I think that is very simply a matter of everyone taking a look at things and maybe thinking that some alternative just might exist. Is there a budget? Can the wagon pushers and puller actually have the time to stop and fix anything?

WHERE the heck are these people going with these wheels? Are they for internal processes or has some customer ordered them to use on their wagons? Or, are those wheels going to be installed on the new 747 cargo planes another customer is acquiring, something that will have all sorts of implications and ramifications.

And where might some of those Round Wheels actually be used to benefit our own people and our own performance.

WHAT we need to do seems pretty clear. Step back from the wagon and take a couple of seconds to see if the fog of work clears.

WHO? YOU!

And if not You, Who?
And if not Now, When?
IF IT IS TO BE
IT IS UP TO ME.

We sell simple toolkits and interactive team building games to drive increased motivation for change and improvement.

Tools for Involving and Engaging People

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s blog on Poems and Quips on Workplace Improvement is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of the The LEGO Group

Some Leadership and Training Jokes and Haiku

Occasionally, I go off on a tangent and this is certainly one of those times. In an email, someone asked me for an anchor point and I remembered all these jokes and one-liners I have in my other website (www.SquareWheels.com) and going there reminded me of just how many of those things I posted years ago…

Click on image to go to Jokes Page

Click image to go to Jokes Page

Here are a couple from that one page and note that there are 9 pages of jokes on the Square Wheels website.

This is a good one on communications in general. You might actually do this as an exercise in the classroom:

An English professor wrote the words, “a woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote: “A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
Perspective is everything!

On customer service:

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Atlanta to New York. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they’re too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it’s a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the manager.

The manager listens to the man and then explains the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use. He also explains they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,” explains the manager.

No matter what facility the manager mentions, the man replies, “But we didn’t use it!” The manager is unmoved and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the manager. The manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But sir,” he says, “this check is only made out for $100.”

“That’s right,” says the man. “I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.”

“But I didn’t!” exclaims the manager.

“Well,” the man replies, “she was here, and you could have.”

I LOVE MY JOB!
**Contributed by Bob Laurie, Juneau, Alaska, from the Lost Dr. Seuss Book**

I love my Job, I love the Pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my Boss; he’s the best!
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my Office and its location –
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
and the paper that piles up every day!

I love my chair in my padded Cell!
There’s nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my Peers –
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my Computer and all its Software;
I hug it often though it doesn’t care…
I love each Program and every File,
I try to understand once in a while!!

I’m happy to be here, I am I am;
I’m the happiest Slave of my Uncle Sam.
I love this Work: I love these Chores.
I love the Meetings with deadly Bores.

I love my Job – I’ll say it again –
I even love these friendly Men –
These men who’ve come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away!!!

 

On Promotion and Marketing:

“If the circus is coming to town and you paint a sign saying “Circus Coming to the Fairground Saturday,” that’s advertising. If you put the sign on the back of an elephant and walk him into town, that’s promotion. If the elephant walks through the mayor’s flower bed, that’s publicity. If you can get the mayor to laugh about it, that’s public relations.

And if you planned the elephant’s walk, that’s marketing.”

Murphy’s Technology Laws –

Murphy’s Technology Law #1:
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Murphy’s Technology Law #2:
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Murphy’s Technology Law #3:
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

Murphy’s Technology Law #4:
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Murphy’s Technology Law #5:
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Murphy’s Technology Law #6:
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

Murphy’s Technology Law #7:
All great discoveries are made by mistake.

Murphy’s Technology Law #8:
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Murphy’s Technology Law #9:
All’s well that ends… period.

Murphy’s Technology Law #10:
A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Murphy’s Technology Law #11:
The first myth of management is that it exists.

Murphy’s Technology Law #12:
A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.

Murphy’s Technology Law #13:
New systems generate new problems.

Murphy’s Technology Law #14:
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Murphy’s Technology Law #15:
We don’t know one-millionth of one percent about anything.

Murphy’s Technology Law #16:
Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Murphy’s Technology Law #17:
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.

 

This story below has been a favorite storyline of mine for a long time. But read my added comments at the end:

How Standards are set

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.

Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts? Roman war chariots first made the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels and wagons. Since the chariots were made for, or by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder which horse’s rear came up with it, you may be exactly right. Because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war-horses.

And now, the twist to the story…

There’s an interesting extension to the story about railroad gauges and horses’ behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. Thiokol makes the SRBs at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses behinds.

So, the major design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined by the width of a Horse’s [rear]!

A check of the above on Snopes finds the storyline to not be true. (See http://www.snopes.com/history/american/gauge.asp) – in part, it says:

The eventual standardization of railroad gauge in the U.S. was due far less to a slavish devotion to a gauge inherited from England than to the simple fact that the North won the Civil War and, in the process, rebuilt much of the Southern railway system to match its own:

Still, the above does make for a great story!

—————-

On the value of good help!

A salesman is lost in a rural area and stops at a farm to get directions. As he is talking to the farmer he notices a pig with a wooden leg. “How did the pig get a wooden leg?”, he asks the farmer.

“Well”, says the farmer, “that is a very special pig. One night not too long ago we had a fire start in the barn. Well, sir, that pig set up a great squealing that woke everyone, and by the time we got there he had herded all the other animals out of the barn and saved everyone of them.”

“And that was when he hurt his leg?” asked the salesman. “Oh no” says the farmer. “He was fine after that. Though a while later I was in the woods out back and a bear attacked me. Well, sir, that pig was near by and he came running and set on that bear and chased him off. Saved me for sure.” “So the bear injured his leg then.” says the salesman.

“Oh no. He came away without a scratch from that. Though a few days later my tractor turned over in a ditch and I was knocked unconscious. Well, that pig dove into the ditch and pulled me out before I drown.” “So he hurt his leg then?” asks the salesman. “Oh no,” says the farmer. “So how did he get the wooden leg?” the salesman asks.

“Well”, the farmer tells him, “A pig like that, you don’t want to eat all at once.”

 

If They Wrote Computer Error Messages in Haiku

Some computer messages, done poetically in Haiku

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

The Tao that is seen
is not the true Tao, until
you bring fresh toner.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Three things are certain:
death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

A file that big?
It might be very useful,
but now it is gone.

Errors have occurred.
We won’t tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

Seeing my great fault
through darkening blue windows,
I begin again

The code was willing.
It considered your request,
but the chips were weak.

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a camera?

Server’s poor response
not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

This site has 404’d.
We’d tell you where, but then we’d
have to delete you.

Wind catches lily
scatt’ring petals to the wind.
Segmentation fault.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask much too much.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located so
find endless others.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
Find your network down.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a paperweight.

A chasm exists
of carbon and silicon
the software can’t bridge.

To have no errors
would be life without meaning.
No struggle, no joy.

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Having been erased,
the document you’re seeking
must now be retyped.

Rather than a beep
or a rude error message,
simply: “File not found.”

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

 

On Thoughts and Thinking

Question:
Despite my vast (nay, encyclopedic) knowledge and understanding of all aspects of the Internet, one thing puzzles me. That is how I can send a message to a group and have it appear literally within seconds, and then send another which will take more than 24 hours to appear.

(Signed)Puzzled Los Gatos Sociologist

Response
Ah. I’m happy to report that you have come to the right place for the answer to this deep question.

Before I reveal the cause of the common phenomenon you’re wondering about, though, I’d like to point out some other quirky behaviors that you may have noticed.

.. Some days your car starts on the first turn of the starter. Some days it doesn’t start at all.

.. Some recent nights have been brilliantly lighted by the full moon. Tonight I’ve waited and waited, but all I got was wet.

These have nothing to do with why one message is transmitted immediately while another takes 24 hours.

The reason is complex, and we technologists don’t often expect even to hear such sophisticated questions from those outside the inner circle, and many of us are loathe to reveal the hidden cause.

But you seem trustworthy, so…

Look at your keyboard. Notice how the keys are all out of order? You’d think they’d be in alphabetical order, wouldn’t you? But no, they are arranged in an odd pattern called QWERTY, originally devised by a typewriter manufacturer to slow typists down to the point where his machines wouldn’t jam. Imagine, now, when you send a message down the wires, how differently the many routers and interfaces that the message goes through are affected by different juxtapositions of letters in your message. Just as a modest change in the original position of a chess problem has a dramatic effect on the time required to solve it, the tiniest change in the arrangement of letters in your message – often not even noticeable to any but the expert eye, and even then only with complex measurement equipment – can wreak havoc with every interface the message must pass through.

Imagine you had a car wider than the normal freeway lane. Going through interchanges would be a particular trial; how quickly you could pass through would depend on the amount of other traffic, the number of odd-shaped oncoming cars, and many other factors — much too complex to summarize quickly. But I’m sure you get the idea. And just as if you drove through many interchanges in your odd-shaped car you could be delayed dramatically, changes in the letter composition of your message slow it down every time it goes through a router, the internet’s interchange.

The letters W and M are particularly noxious in this way. If they happen to fall within the same word, as in women, or if multiples of them fall within a word, as in mammal, or wow, their retardant effect is in fact squared; this was first proved by Von Neumann in 1944, although certain notes of Ada Lovelace in 1861 indicate that she, too, had the basic idea.

The vowels, on the other hand, particularly I and O, are quite slippery and can speed up the trip of your message through a router; in fact, an I almost cancels an M, and words with many Is and Os, such as oil, lion, noise, and onion, can have a remarkable accelerating effect.

These are only the extreme cases. Each letter, and in fact each key, has its own lexical friction coefficient (LFC), which often depends on the relationship of the letter to other letters in the word and to other words in the message. LFC tables were originally compiled by Hollerith in 1901, for use in his famous Census-tabulating work, but were not made available to the general public until IBM brought out the 407 tabulating machine in the mid-thirties, and published a full set of lexical friction data in the documentation that was issued with the machine. Later, in 1962, when IBM first produced the Selectric typewriter, new LFC tables had to be constructed; these were made available in technical libraries.

Depending on the net lexical friction of a message, the transit time of a message through a router can differ by as much as a factor of fifty. This in itself is hardly sufficient to explain the difference between instant delivery and 24-hour delivery, however. The biggest part of the effect is a second-order result of high-LFC messages passing through routers. Just as when a stream slows down it deposits much more silt and other sediment on its bed, a high-lfc message, traveling slowly through a router, leaves what amounts to arterial plaque in the routers optical fiber connections. Optical fiber builds up LFC-related plaque anyway, but normally so slowly that fibers don’t have to be cleaned or changed for years. However, a chance confluence of many high-LFC message can deposit so much LFC plaque in the fiber connections of a router that the router can be totally disabled. Even if the router is not put completely out of service by fiber plaque, it can transmit messages so slowly that many recipient protocol managers conclude correctly that their correspondents have failed, and request retransmission. Thus high-LFC messages not only move more slowly through the internet, but actually raise the internet’s traffic load while they do so.

This issue has been studied in great detail by my erstwhile employer, whose interest in fiber plaque, LFC aggregation, and the resulting internet congestion is so high that it has formed a special task force to study the matter and recommend solutions within a year. I fully expect, however, that since the matter is dependent on keyboard design originally, these studies will probably result in little improvement, and once again we will be left anxiously awaiting the next-faster generation of optics, routers, and computers, meanwhile helplessly floundering in a stew of such technical complexity that only the few can comprehend it.

I would suggest that to improve your transmission times you should begin by tabulating the letter counts in your messages, and correlate them with message delivery delays. This technique is crude, but should give you a rough idea of what to expect. If your needs go beyond manual counting, you can find any number of lexical friction coefficient analysis programs in the commercial world, replete with graphic interfaces and LCF-optimization capabilities.

I’m glad to have been of service in this matter, and will make myself available for further questions as they occur to you.

Received from Teresa’s Jokers

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s blog on Poems and Quips on Workplace Improvement is here.

Square Wheels are a trademark of Performance Management Company
LEGO® is a trademark of the The LEGO Group

 

catching and herding frogs

You CAN herd frogs! Thoughts on Strategy Implementation

A key role in leadership is one of implementing change and implementing strategy initiatives. And there is a lot of evidence that this is not done very well in many organizations. Research by thought leaders like Robin Speculand tend to show that most initiatives are unsuccessful when viewed objectively. The video on his site today is by Chris Skinner and is about why implementation fails in banking. (click on the names to go to the sites)

This simply reminded me that:

Getting things done around here is a lot like herding cats.That old EDS commercial about the satisfaction gained from successfully herding cats was just a hoot, where the cat herders talk about their accomplishment in a 1-minute video you can access by clicking the image below:

Herding Cats - EDS Commercial

“Herding cats. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s easy…” “I’m living a dream…”

My British friend and associate, Barry Howell, used the phrase “herding frogs” in a conversation we had, so I played with that in a previous blog you can see by clicking on the image below. I thought the notion of herding frogs was pretty funny, but NOW, I am convinced that there is a Leadership Lesson here.

 

Frogs

Before I get to the Leadership Lesson and Team Building Exercise I will share, let me first say that animals can be herded, just not all of them. View the following video for 30 seconds or so before I make my point below:

Stampeding Ducks

Stampeding the herded team of ducks.  This is obviously a common event at this location. And that first team of ducks sure had their act together. But it you watch it longer, you might have seen that not all the duck teams were very effective. In some cases, hundreds of the ducks were just standing there or muddling around, seemingly without a clue. (Yeah, that happens in organizations, too.)

I love using those kinds of very visual, kinesthetic phrases to anchor reality.

So, here is your training activity, as promised.

Barry sent me this link to a video of people who seem to have the task of “Herding Frogs.” Obviously, that is not an easy one and the people are seen to fumble and stumble a bit. They also have to deal with the mud, which is something that certainly happens in most organizations as I show in my old Square Wheels Jeep Mud cartoon from our team building game on optimizing collaboration:

Jeep alligator and mud poem

So, here is what you do:

Show this video on The Great Frog Roundup to groups of 5-6 people at a table — note that there can be any number of tables.

The Great Frog Roundup

After watching the 3-minute video, ask them a few questions and allow them to discuss the issues of implementing the strategy of herding frogs along these lines:

  • What were these people trying to accomplish?
  • How would they know if they were successful?
  • How would you define success?
  • Were these people motivated to succeed and how would you increase motivation if that were necessary?
  • Were these people involved and engaged in the activity and how would you increase engagement if that were necessary?
  • Were there opportunities to improve their strategy and tactics to improve their efficiency and optimize results?
  • How would you coach this team around improving results?

My take is that the overall goals were to catch some frogs, but what was the purpose? It appeared that they did have some kind of net on the beach but that they could have used more boards and maybe even built a funnel to move more frogs into the same area for capture. Using buckets might not have been the best idea, since they could actually suffocate frogs if filled too high.And so forth.

Lastly, what IS it about frogs and ducks in outrageous numbers, anyway?

And those kinds of things that would help people to understand that while herding frogs is a difficult task, it CAN be accomplished and results can be improved.

 

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s blog on Poems and Quips on Workplace Improvement is here.

 

Getting Things Done – Herding Frogs and Herding Cats

A couple of really good discussions on facilitation and implementation reminded me of The Theme of Workplace Reality:

Getting things done around here is a lot like herding cats.

For that phrase, I am always reminded of the old EDS commercial about the satisfaction gained from successfully herding cats:

Herding Cats - EDS Commercial

“Herding cats. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s easy…”
“I’m living a dream…”

Funny stuff, for sure and worth watching!
(Clicking on the image above will open up that 1 minute video in Youtube.)

So, in chatting with my British friend, Barry Howell, he used the phrase “herding frogs,” which I guess is a more common one there since they aren’t so much into herding cattle as an English culture. I thought it pretty funny, and it anchors to the same issue of trying to manage the less than manageable.

Frogs

I love using those kinds of very visual, kinesthetic phrases to anchor reality.

Today, I saw a link to an absolutely wild short video about stampeding ducks. Seriously. Looks like Thailand but I am not sure. Anyway. click on the image below to see that video. Unreal

Stampeding Ducks

Trying to implement things is not an easy task, as shown in these examples. And while ducks will be imprinted to follow an individual or other ducks, with people it is not quite so easy.

And then there is my graphic also speaks to getting things done:

Baby Elephant Teamwork Quote words

Cats, frogs and elephants.

Will Zombies be next?

(Actually, the answer is YES, since my colleagues in Hong Kong and Tokyo both wish me to get my Zombie Strategy Implementation Game into beta so they can mess with it. Wheeeeeeeee.)

We share some simple tools for involving and engaging people for improving workplace performance at The Square Wheels Project. Using our Square Wheels images, you can generate alignment to shared missions and visions, ask about issues and opportunities and define strategies to implement and manage change. Check it out!

Scott Simmerman's Square Wheels Project for Performance Manaagement

For the FUN of It!

Dr. Scott SimmermanDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s blog on Poems and Quips on Workplace Improvement is here.

 

Strategy Implementation and Team Building – Years of Hard Work

My friend and associate, Robin Speculand, has been working with strategy implementation ideas and frameworks from his base in Singapore. He has published 4 books and has brought his Implementation Hub to the world of collaborative organizational development. Summarizing expansively, he would suggest that implementation is very hard work, requires a great deal of investment of executive and management time, and only works slowly at best.

The research from the people who studied the implementation of quality control and management systems over the past 20 years have consistently suggested that it takes 3 years to really see good implementation. There has been a lot of research done on this issue by the university business communities and others.

I expand on some of the issues of why so many strategy improvements fail in an older blog that cites a good bit of Robin’s research, but here is a short summary from that longer article of mine:

Robin’s Key Findings include:

  • 80% of leaders feel their company is good at crafting strategy but only 44% are good at implementation and only 2% are confident that they will achieve 80-100% of their strategy’s objectives
  • Most leaders should allocate more time to implementing strategy than creating their strategy
  • An overwhelming of managers believe that their bonus should be linked to the successful implementation of the strategy
  • 70% of leaders spend less than one-day a month reviewing strategy
  • Leaders believe that only 5% of employees have a basic understanding of the company strategy and goals

I was reminded of this when reading a great article about the issues surrounding the effective implementation of high-performance work teams. You can find the full article here, but let me excerpt a bit of it to align with some of Robin’s findings above. The article in New Directions Consulting also suggests a time framework of 2 to 3 years and shares some key implementation steps, somewhat modified by me for clarity, but including these three phases and these bullets and more:

The “Start Up” Phase (6-8 months) – including initial budgeting for training, meeting time, lost production time, etc. This includes the initial design of team support processes and accountability:

  • Team charter including agreement on goals and measures
  • Help/Hinder list and other protocols for roadblock management
  • Team Meetings and support system processes with coaching
  • Early consensus building across the organization
  • Team conflict resolution engagements and alignment
  • Communications
  • Team training — basic
  • Cross training on task knowledge

The “Growing” Phase (9-18 months) with most time being spent in organizing and fine-tuning systems and processes:

  • Sharing cross-functional team and work assignments
  • Conflict resolution between members
  • Team planning and problem solving (continuous improvement)
  • New member selection, orientation and training
  • Team management system development – including defining of action items and feedback / support systems and measurements
  • Presentations to management – issues, results, opportunities

The “Mature” Phase (18-36 months and continuous) whereby changes and improvements will actually become visible and measurable – the impacts:

  • Continuing problem identification and management
  • Costing / budgeting and integrating financial reporting
  • Analyzing team performance and conducting “lessons learned” sessions to identify issues and opportunities
  • Redesigning work processes and systems
  • Proposing new capital and process improvement opportunities
  • Proposing new business ideas and customer requests
  • Team performance management, with feedback, rewards and recognition
  • Greater linkage between team’s metrics and organizational metrics
  • Integration of teaming into operational and management systems like compensation, performance management, career growth, training and development, etc.

above adapted from New Dimensions Consulting newsletter and blog.

A lot of the teamwork will appear like this to the organization as a whole:

Trial and Error Murphy's Law words

and how the organization reacts to these situations of trial and error learning will be a critical cultural change that must happen if teams are to thrive and be effective in implementing change and improvement.

As teams become more operational and more common, teams and individuals will begin to address cross-functional issues that are harder to manage because they cross a variety of operational and logistical and systemic barriers. Changing metrics is always difficult and making people accountable for different things is not generally accepted smoothly. There will be change at a personal and a peer-group level that needs to occur before the organizational issues can be addressed with any effectiveness.

I wrote up a lot more extensively on these ideas in an earlier blog, focused on Ancona and Bresman’s book on X-teams (2007). This generated some good thinking on the components of the implementation process and especially about improving the external focus of teams — how that could be so beneficial to overall organizational collaboration and improve the closeness to customers. Find more on X-teams and cross-functional organizational improvement by clicking here or on the image below:

Involving and engagind Drawing Board words

In my view, there are no silver bullet solutions to teamwork.

There are lots of troubles with teams, issues of team motivation, issues of leadership and alignment and the view that probably ALL of Murphy’s Laws will apply as you work with individuals with different personal and professional agendas and merge them into operational units and then try to get those units to address potentially risky issues.

But the impacts of good teamwork on organizational performance cannot be understated. It generates improvement in a wide variety of ways, helps increase engagement and decrease employee turnover, improves innovation and processes, etc.

But it is also like giving birth to a baby elephant:

Baby Elephant Teamwork Quote words

If you are not fully committed to teams and teaming, consider doing more research and reading. There are hundreds of books and articles about the issue. There are also a wide variety of structures and frameworks under which your processes can operate. Some are quite rigid and some are much less so — your corporation’s style and culture will help determine which might be best for your particular needs and there is NOT one best way to accomplish this. What works for Apple or Google will not work for CVS or Walmart.

Plus, the one really important requirement for success is the absolute commitment of the top management team and senior leadership. If you are not willing to commit money and time and focus to the improvement initiative, consider NOT doing anything along these lines. The worst thing you can do is partly commit and then de-commit at some future time, since it makes implementing the next initiative so much harder.

If you are interested in powerful tools for involving and engaging people and for helping to build higher levels of inter-organizational collaboration — or you are looking for a leadership development exercise that will help focus your management team on the issues of team building and employee engagement, Performance Management Company has designed the Square Wheels tools for organizational improvement and The Search for The Lost Dutchman’s Gold Mine for building alignment to shared goals and cross-functional teamwork.

For the FUN of It!

Scott Simmerman, creator of the Square Wheels images and toolsDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s blog on Poems and Quips on Workplace Improvement is here.

The actual quote for the baby elephant birth quote is:

TEAMWORK: An awful lot like giving birth to a baby elephant.

  • It always starts at a high level.
  • It’s accomplished with a lot of trumpeting and screaming.
  • It takes 22 months to grow and develop.
  • – And then you have a baby elephant to take care of…

 

 

 

About Scott Simmerman, Ph.D.

Dr. Scott Simmerman is the creator of the Square Wheels illustrations about organizational behavior and the author of numerous team building games; his flagship product is The Search for The Lost Dutchman’s Gold Mine.

He is not a poet but strives to create some memorable works using his illustrations, poems, quips and quotes to leave an impact.

Scott Simmerman, creator of the Square Wheels images and tools

Scott has been operating Performance Management Company since 1984 and has been extremely fortunate in being able to work with consultants and managers in 38 countries so far.

For the FUN of It!

Scott Simmerman, Ph. D., CPF – “The Square Wheels Guy”
Performance Management Company – 864-292-8700
3 Old Oak Drive    Taylors, SC 29687
Scott@SquareWheels.com

– Tools for Training and Development <www.squarewheels.com/>
– Scott as Speaker <www.ScottSimmerman.com/>
– Tools, games and presentation materials at
<www.performancemanagementcompany.com>

Dr. Simmerman is a Certified Professional Facilitator (IAF)

Some Square Wheels Illustrated Quotes

There are a few main “one-liners” and memorable quotes that I use regularly in my articles and presentations and that I sometimes use as anchors in various posts on LinkedIn and elsewhere. And I inconsistently post them up into my other blog that is generally loaded up with poems and haiku and other thoughts that I post up as singles.

Since my readership is different, I thought to share a few of my Business Thoughts herein for your enjoyment and edification. If you want to see more, pop over to http://poemsontheworkplace.com/

An illustrated Square Wheels quote: Mahatma Ghandi

Square Wheels illustrated quote on business

Nothing Made Sense, and neither did anything else illustrated quote by scott simmerman

Teamwork - the Square Wheels about how things really work

We sell simple toolkits that use different illustrations and themes to generate discussions about workplace improvement.

Performance Management Company website for team building

They work beautifully in training programs as well as in simple workplace discussions about issues and ideas, teamwork and collaboration, innovation and motivation. You can connect easily with me if I can provide direct support to your efforts to better involve and engage people in performance improvement,

For the FUN of It!

Scott Simmerman, creator of the Square Wheels images and toolsDr. Scott Simmerman is a designer of team building games and organization improvement tools. Managing Partner of Performance Management Company since 1984, he is an experienced presenter and consultant.

 
Connect with Scott on Google+ – you can reach Scott at scott@squarewheels.com

Follow Scott’s posts on Pinterest: pinterest.com/scottsimmerman/
Scott’s blog on Poems and Quips on Workplace Improvement is here.

 

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